yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
