so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
