I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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