I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
