she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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