Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
