Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
handjob tips. give me some.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
