There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
