Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
