So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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