The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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