I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
