i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
