why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I believe in your delicious
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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