his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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