I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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