did you get engaged???
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
