i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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