I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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