I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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