First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
