And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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