You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
