I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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