What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
