Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
