I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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