we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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