y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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