Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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