I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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