Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
