i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
