yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
