It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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