after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
