as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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