He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
