Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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