We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
