So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize