Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
