i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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