Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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