seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
