and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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