im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
