Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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