god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
