my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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