so that wasnt chicken after all
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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