fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
