Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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