Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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