What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
