My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
