i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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