Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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