Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
should my penis look like a turkey
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
