I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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