Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
