Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
