Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
