You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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