woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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