I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize