all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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