After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
